Slowing Down
Participating in a fun run with my girls is enjoyable if I remember that we are not there to break any records and completing the distance is an achievement in itself.
My normal exercise philosophy has been to go as hard as you can and only slow down if you are so knackered you can’t go any faster or you have done so much damage that you can’t move without significant pain.
Apparently there is a better way.
It has taken me a whole year to be able to get back running after the damage I did to myself last April and my resulting knee operation. On reflection I made every mistake possible. When I look back I should have run the marathon in February, at this stage I was still in one piece, was relatively fresh and just completing the distance was my main goal.
The real trouble started when I began to believe my own hype. Feeling supremely confident after a couple of big runs I started to think about running under 4 hours. My training got more intense, I started to ignore the signs that I was over training and ultimately the wheels fell off. The fact I got around at all was due to the help of a few pain killers and lots of cheerful Londoners.
A year later I am gradually running again and I am adopting a new approach.
If you want to go faster, the trick is to actually slow down.
Seems a little strange, but according to my new training bible the secret to staying healthy is to train at a pace that allows you to be able to move and function after you have finished your session, not to push it so far that you have to go to bed for the rest of the day. All of this is measured by using a heart rate monitor and this approach allows you to build a “base”. If you train like this you condition yourself so you can go faster whilst maintaining the same heart rate.
The challenge with this approach means that when you start out you can find yourself running or cycling at an extremely slow pace to maintain the required heart rate. The bible promises me that this is only for a few months but I was tested this weekend when I was out on my bike and a peloton of over 60’s raced past me and wished me a cheery “good day”. Either they weren’t sticking to the rules of building a base or maybe they have known this secret and have been practicing it for years.
A must read for all middle aged converts to any form of endurance exercise.
Parcels
It doesn’t matter how old you are, receiving a parcel addressed to you is one of the most marvellous experiences you can have. As a kid I remember ordering stuff from a catalogue, sending a postal order and then waiting for my purchase to arrive. These days you just get on-line and a few clicks later you start to feel that very same feeling of anticipation.
With the Aussie $ so strong it actually makes sense to do most of our clothes shopping overseas. Recently my girls filled their on-line shopping basket full of clothes from a US store for a fraction of what they cost here. For the last week Milly and Alice have been racing home asking “has it arrived yet”. It’s not hard to imagine the excitement in the house when they got home today to find a great big parcel full of clothes.
I can gladly admit that this is the same excitement that I have been experiencing when my parcels of bike goodies turn up. The trouble is it can be quite addictive. My latest passion is cycling jerseys. I know you can only wear one at a time but having suitable attire seems to be part of this whole bike thing.
Amongst the weekend warriors you can see the whole range of pro team jerseys, it’s like wearing your favourite football teams jersey to a game. This is not for me, instead I am becoming a little fixated on retro look jerseys. They are all made to modern standards just replica designs of old jerseys.
Is it acceptable for a grown man to declare that his week has been made when his new “Cote D’Or/DAF Trucks/Gazelle Retro Jersey” has arrived and what’s more it is a perfect fit?
I have recognised the early signs of possible addiction so I have a self-imposed purchasing embargo in place until April. By then the weather will be changing, so for purely practical reasons I’ll need some long sleeve jerseys, gilets, gloves, overshoes…

It doesn't seem to lie as flat around the stomach when I wear it. Very comfortable and available from Prendas.co.uk
The Peloton
Adelaide has a lot to offer at any time of year.
In January during the week of the Tour Down Under the whole city is overrun by Lycra wearing folks of all ages and of varying shapes and sizes who are all passionate about their cycling. The circus comes to town and everybody is invited to dress up and get involved.
My family were not going to pass up the opportunity for a holiday even if it did mean they had to indulge my latest passion for cycling.
I thought there may have been a little more resistance to standing by the side of a road in temperatures over 30 degrees waiting for the Peloton to flash by. Fortunately The Tour has a lot to offer beside just the race.
Free Stuff - If you get along to the start or the finish then the kind marketing folk of the various sponsors want to give you as much free stuff as you can carry. Hats, water bottles, torches, beer coolers, bags, more hats, cow bells, if it can have a logo stamped on it you can get it. Milly and Alice loved this, doesn’t matter what it is, if it is free it’s got to be good.
The Route- Each stage starts around Adelaide and finishes within a radius of around 100 km. If you have bought your bike and a few mates you ride out to watch the race and then cycle back to Adelaide for an evening of entertainment.
If you are there with the family you can find a piece of road that is right next to a beach or near a winery to keep them entertained (my girls love a visit to a cellar door, I take it as a sign of potential sophistication and refinement, not a bad omen of things to come) . If this doesn’t work then you can always get more free stuff.
The Peloton - The tour riders are really accessible. You see them out on training rides, you can get close to them at the start and at the finish and they all seem really happy to have a chat.
According to Robyn they also all smell very nice. A strange thing to notice but when they all come whizzing past there is a definite smell of metrosexual grooming product. You might expect this at the start of the day but even after 150km+ of racing the intoxicating smell of lotions and potions was ever present. Not surprisingly L’Oreal is a sponsor and I was given vast quantities of free stuff from their nice promotional ladies, who obviously thought my personal hygiene could do with some assistance. I have more tubes and packets of lotions for all sorts of things that I never knew men were allowed to do to themselves. I’m still not sure where I should be applying my “Men Expert – Erase Wrinkles Anti-Expression Lines Moisturising Cream”, maybe it will solve my freckle problem.
The initial motivation for our trip to Adelaide was for me to ride the challenge leg before the pros. Along with thousands of others I completed the 135km ride and loved every minute of it. I normally ride on my own so having lots of other folk to follow and work alongside was great. I completed the ride in less than 5 hours and the family were at the finish line to cheer me home. I certainly didn’t smell like the peloton, had no free stuff to hand out but my girls were delighted to see me , to offer me a drink from their water bottles, to ring their bells to mark my achievement and to raise a free hat to the Tour Down Under.
Freckle
My sister and her family came to visit from the UK over Christmas. Her arrival allowed me to partake in a great English tradition I had completely forgotten about. Namely, standing on the beach in the rain looking expectantly at the horizon and exclaiming “I think it is getting brighter over there”. Normally I wouldn’t be anywhere near the beach in such weather but when they’d travelled over 10,000 miles, needs must.
Fortunately the weather picked up and a great time was had by all. After bidding them a sad farewell we have decanted to the in-laws farm en route to Adelaide. I have spent the week on my bike as I am riding the BUPA Challenge next Friday, an open ride that is part of the Tour Down under.
This bike malarkey is a little more complicated than just taking off for a run, primarily because it involves a piece of machinery. On my ride last Saturday I noticed a rather loud creak. I had the biked serviced before we left and the bike shop had mentioned the bottom bracket may need looking at. As I pedalled around, the serenity of the countryside was consistently broken by this increasingly annoying creak.
Even farmer Mick was reluctant to have a go at fixing it, if it was a tractor, header or anything else he’d give it a go. Quietly relieved I decided it would be a trip to “town” to fix it. A 400 km round trip to Wagga Wagga and the nice man at Kidsons Cycles had replaced some parts and we were good to go. The next day I jumped on the bike, was halfway down the road and there was the noise again. I knew it wasn’t mechanical as there was nothing left to replace or service so I spent the whole of my ride trying to work out what was wrong.
After taking everything off the bike, that I felt comfortable enough to touch, the creak was still there. Whilst pondering how to buy myself a new bike before next week (I was not going to let the bike win and was going to show it who was boss) I casually tightened the seat clamp.
Turns out a 1/4 turn of a nut fixed my problem. Riding the thing can be tough but looking after it for somebody as incompetent as myself is the real challenge.
Without the creak I completed my first 100 mile (About 165km) ride today. On the whole I finished in good shape. The new knee I got before Xmas held up, aerobically I felt fine, legs were tired but felt good, the only part of me complaining was my “freckle” (my bottom).
Compared to when I first started there is a big improvement, but it is still a concern. I have the most padded racing saddle I could buy (short of getting one with springs and some nice leather), I have the top notch cycling shorts and I even have taken to applying chamois cream to my nether regions before I ride. Despite all this after 5+ hours in the saddle it still hurts somewhat.
Alice, in her 9 year old wisdom has offered me her favourite quote to help deal with the situation. Apparently “the pain is just weakness leaving my body”.
Mick has suggested I use Metho to toughen the area up, if there are any other suggestions to strengthen my weakness then answers on a postcard to…
Big Brown Land
One of the joys of travel is it gives you a different perspective. It doesn’t take long to become blind to what is in front of you, a bit of distance and a fresh outlook reminds you of all the things you noticed when you first arrived in a city or country.
There is a lot to love about living in Sydney and I have always appreciated the harbour, the beaches, the instantly recognisable landmarks and the wonderful climate. The one thing that I have become a little oblivious to is the size of the place. Not so much the size of Sydney, the size of Australia. Once you hit the open road then you realise how big this country really is.
Robyn’s mum and dad live on a farm in a place called Ungarie in NSW. This is 550km (340 miles) from Sydney and it’s a 5 ½ hour drive. We head back every school holiday to have a week of rest and relaxation and have just spent another wonderful week in country NSW.
When we first arrived in Sydney, 14 years ago, we drove to the farm and back over a weekend, a 1,100km round trip. This was the same distance as a “once in a lifetime” big drive we made from Dublin to Bracknell and back. When you live in such a large place you get used to travelling long distances.
The farm has always been a great place for a holiday. It’s a working farm with dogs, cats, chickens, sheep, tractors, motorbikes and paddocks (not fields, as I am constantly reminded) with crops in them. The girls love the freedom of being able to do what they want and roam free.
I enjoy this as much as they do, what I have also started to appreciate is how flat it is. Why have I just started to appreciate this feature? Well, it makes it a lot easier to ride my bike. Flat, straight roads and a distinct lack of traffic make it easy to ride further and faster. I rode over 100km’s last Sunday and saw only 17 cars!
Ungarie is a little off the beaten track but to only have seen 17 cars in 3 ½ hours was pretty impressive.
I don’t think they get many MAMILS out here. It would be hard to explain the joys of Lycra to the local gents who are more interested in the practical things of life such as the weather, sheep prices and the performance of the latest John Deer tractor. Discussing the benefits of spending thousands of dollars on a carbon fibre bike or the merits of different types of inserts in your cycling shorts would be an interesting conversation for the “local” on a Friday night.
So with this in mind I shall continue to indulge my new perspective on life and enjoy the solitude and good fortune of having large parts of the country and the open road to myself.
Mid-Life Crisis 2.0
Basically I did some serious damage to my knee and after weeks of physiotherapy to see if it would fix itself, my surgeon now reckons an arthroscopy is required to get me up and running again.
In the meantime I have evolved into a MAMIL. This is something that I had strenuously resisted, in my weakened state the lure of the Lycra was too strong.
For those of you not in the know, MAMIL stands for ”Middle Aged Man in Lycra”. It is a mildly derogatory term used for the thousands of male cyclists that hit the road early on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We go out under the cover of darkness in our tight figure hugging outfits, and then once the sun is up we gather in packs to preen and pose at coffee shops all over the western world.
I have been cycling for the last 3 months. It doesn’t completely replace the high of a good long run but it goes close and you can go so much further. You also get to splash out a whole lot of money on stuff you never knew you needed. I have Lycra leg and arm warmers, logo infested jerseys and an assortment of Lycra shorts with, and I quote, “high density foam inserts protecting all contact points.”
My new internet addiction is surfing the web for various items of cycling paraphernalia and leering at expensive carbon-fibre bikes. Robyn calls it “bike porn”.
Until I am back running, I am committed to the bike. The family and I are all off to Adelaide next January to watch the Tour Down Under. Apart from a good excuse to indulge my new passion, and visit some of the finest wineries in Australia, I have also signed up to ride the Bupa Challenge. You ride the same stage as the professionals, you set off early in the morning before the peloton and cover the 135km’s a lot slower than they will.
Milly is very impressed she wrote this poem for me for Father’s Day:
You ran so far you hurt your knee,
But that doesn’t stop you from loving me,
You took up biking to occupy your mind,
But that won’t stop you being kind,
When you’re going so slow up hills,
That you fall off because you’re almost still,
Just remember that as long as my heart is in my chest,
I will always think you’re the best.
My neighbour provided this other perspective when he saw me looking resplendent in my Lycra, “Ben, you are a walking cliché“, he remarked.
I think this is a fair, slightly snuggly fitting, observation of where my mid-life crisis has taken me.

Marathon Man
I am delighted to be able to say that I completed my first marathon, a 42.2km slog around London, in a new personal best of 4 hours, 17 minutes and 5 seconds.
A problematic knee and some cramping means I was a little slower than I wanted to be. Despite the pain, there is no place in the world I would have rather been than running around London on April 17th 2011. The crowds were amazing and having all my family cheering like mad at the 40KM mark made the final run to the finish line something to savour.
I am not sure where my mid-life crisis will take me next. There have been post-race discussions of running the Sydney Marathon in September and maybe New York next year.
I have bought myself a unicycle so maybe this is where my talents lie! Whatever happens I am determined to grow old as disgracefully as possible…
Jogging your memory
We have arrived in the UK and I have had my last proper training run. Bracknell, where we are staying with my folks, at 6am on Saturday morning was quite serene. After a couple of warm days the flowers and trees are in bloom. As I ran around the town that I grew up in, the memories came flooding back. I ran for 20km and everywhere I went I could recall a memory from more than 25 years ago. If marathon running is my midlife crises then this “therapy session” has left me feeling very appreciative of what I have and what I have experienced to get me here.
A couple of things I don’t remember but witnessed on my run were, a deer, a team of sled dogs, a fox and a couple of Bracknell youths riding their bikes with hoodies and attitude. At 6.30am I like to think they were riding home after a big night out, if not the Bracknell Massive obviously takes hanging around on street corners extremely seriously to be up training at that hour.
I am feeling in fine form, a couple of light runs this week and lots of rest and I will be at the start line ready to go.
Here’s to creating another happy memory!
Local Press
My marathon aspirations have made it into our local newspaper. Robyn thought this was an opportunity to good to miss, so she set it up (or set me up, I’m not sure which) either way Milly and Alice are delighted!
99% of people who start the race, finish
So says the Oxfam fundraising material they sent me about the London Marathon.
It has been an interesting few weeks, I have had a heavy cold that basically stopped me training for 2 weeks. I was back on my feet this week and developed a slight knee twinge. I got myself checked out by the physio on Friday and he couldn’t find anything wrong.
So rather than ease myself back into it, I set off at 6am in the pouring rain yesterday to run 30km out to Bondi and back. I made it to Bondi and as I was heading home my calf began to really hurt, so as a precaution I called it a day and took a cab home!
It has felt better today so I think it may just need some rest, I have another appointment with the physio tomorrow just to be sure. I think us mature chaps are a bit like old cars, once one things goes wrong then so does everything else.
With less than a month to go my running coach reckons I have enough mileage under my belt not to stress. I think there is enough time to bodge myself together, even if I get to the starting line running on 3 cylinders the chances are I will still get around (after all statistics never lie).
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